By Nemesis (Nemesis) on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 08:20 pm:

Hello everyone. Over the past few years, it has come to my attention that the Wizards of the Coast continuity department has done a substandard job handling the Magic: the Gathering storyline. In fact, some of the recent cycles have been so below standard that they are best described as "irredeemably horrible." Along with many of my fellow storyline fans, I have waited patiently to pull themselves out of the slump that they fell into after Apocalypse. I have watched as they have ruined several chances to make a good story: Odyssey cycle, Onslaught cycle, and most recently, Mirrodin. I, along with many other hardcore storyliners have grown discouraged with WotC's ability to create thought-provoking storylines that aren't geared towards fourth graders.

The time for waiting is over. It is time for action.

I hereby initiate a military coup aimed at overthrowing the WotC continuity department. In its place, I declare myself official Head of Continuity.

Here's a look at some of the changes I have in store if you support my claim as Head of Continuity:

1) Otaria will be revised. Remember when they did this to the old comics and HarperPrism novels? Its going to happen again. I am of the opinion that, although it turned out to be a pointless smash-fest spanning almost 2000 pages, it wasn't a complete waste of a story. Yes, Kamahl was a terrible one dimensional character. yes, most of the time the plot made no sense. BUT it did contain some gems such as Laquatus, Chainer, and the Cabal. The story will be rewritten as four novels, instead of the unnecessary and tedious six. (Kamahl's Odyssey, Chainer's Torment, Mirari's Judgment, Ixidor's Vendetta)

2) Older storylines will be given a story. Do any of you guys at WotC remember Homelands? Fallen Empires? How about Arabian Nights? I bet you wish we didn't. You guys have ignored these for years. Cycles will be drawn up for these as soon as possible.

3) Older storylines that already have a novel/cycle will be expanded on. There are too many interesting cards and good ideas in each set to cover in a single novel or even cycle, especially when the set (as many of the older ones do) covers a time period instead of a series of actions by a few characters. Look forward to several cycles for each set.

4) The limit to six books a year will be removed. D&D has literally hundreds of books. Why does Magic, with such a rich background to draw from, only have thirty-something?

5) The limit to the number of pages per book will be removed As part of my goal to target the storyline towards hardcore fantasy readers rather than fourth graders, the 312 page limit will be removed. It is uneccesarily short, and better stories will be told if the author can use as many pages as he/she wants.

6) New writers will be found The pool of writers has grown stagnant. Its time to add some fresh talent. I will work on getting Jeff Grubb, Loren Coleman, Paul Thompson, and Francis Lebaron back. In the meantime, there are many promising writers from the anthologies who deserve a chance to write their own cycle.

7) Not every book will be part of a trilogy. This will be completely decided by the writers.

8) Mirrodin will be scrapped (No pun intended). One book in, and already it looks like we're in for a crapfest unlike any the world has ever seen. Terrible idea (And since the Mirari is no longer a probe sent by Karn, it wouldn't work anyways). I will have writers working on a summit for a replacement block.

9) The last chapter and prologue of Champion's Trial will be rewritten. The book as a whole was acceptable, but this part was just ridiculous.

10) More than four seconds of thought will be put into format There is no excuse for two chapter 10's or using the Onslaught symbol in the second Legends cycle.

11) The old HarperPrism novels will be re-released. They were some good stories, and didn't interfere with revisionist history that much. Everyone deserves a chance to get their hands on them.

And, of course, many more good things will happen as I go along.

So, that being said, who is with me?

(Also, I need a Department of Continuity, as the existing members have forfeited their places. Seats are up for grabs.)

By Squeeman on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 08:35 pm:

So... much... venom...

By eidtelnvil on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 08:38 pm:

Look! Look! It's insane, it makes sense ... but it's not one of mine! They do exist!

Lots of interesting points.

1 - Otaria could become good. Maybe if it was actualy coherent and flowed from one cycle to the next instead of going in twenty different directions before having the main villain get killed by two flunkies. Argh.

2 - Yes please.

3 - I've always thought this would be good. We could have an entire novel about the Fallaji invasion of Yotia, or the Phyrexian battlefront in Benalia, or the early days of the Madaran Empire. Trying to cram an entire storyline into one novel is just wrong. Let's have some Tolkien flavor, shall we? Three books to describe a single war ... mm-mm good.

4 - Hear hear! Six books when there are plenty of writers out there who really and truly want to write for WotC? Not to mention the horrible treatment that WotC has given Clayton Emery (see www.claytonemery.com for more). It seems like WotC wants to run new writers out of the business rather than give them a shot. And do they honestly think we don't know economics? Bring established fantasy writers in! Dump a handful of money in their hands and tell them to start writing. For christsakes, who wouldn't read a Homelands story written by R.A. Salvatore?

7 - Agreed. It limits the story and prevents the writers from having more control. The whole Onslaught Cycle fiasco could've been one book and probably wouldn't have been near as bad.

8 - I'd say give it time. It doesn't look very promising, but neither did the Weatherlight Storyline after the Rath Cycle. If, however, Darksteel Eye is as bad as MoM, I'll be in agreement.

9 - Hehe. Will it still have TWTSNBNIEP in it? Will Bolas actually have fourth-grade level mentality? Perhaps higher? But, yeah, the ending the Champion's Trial made the whole book a stinker.

10 - This is my biggest agreement. Sorry, Mr. McDermott, but professionalism be damned: I want the editor's heads on a stick. The editing throughout the book is fine, except for a few mistakes. But even these are to be expected. What I don't get is how they can allow these mistakes to continue past the first time somebody brings it up. Frances Lebaron? Legends II has something to with "morphing"? Is it Akroma, Karoma, or Karona? There's just not as much love and care going into making these books as there was five years ago.

11 - As long as they fit into current continuity, so be it.

Anyway, I'm signing up. Nemesis for head of continuity! Can I be the hidden and menacing shadow that rules in the darkness? I'm reasonably sure I can do a good job of punishing Vance Moore for all eternity. And if anyone opposes the revolution I can just reverse the flow of time via my incredible moderator powers and turns things in our favor.

Viva la Revolution!

By Squeeman on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 08:52 pm:

Well, all the pent up rage has finally boiled over.

Ain't it funny how the revolution is being led by someone called "Nemesis"?

By eidtelnvil on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 10:04 pm:

Does that make me the Ineffable ... or Ertai?

By Jimmy Patterson (Maraxus) on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 10:26 pm:

may i resume my usual role, the guy who gets about as much respect as a janitor at a porno theatre?

By Squeeman on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 10:26 pm:

Wow. They DID give Emery some pretty crappy treatment. I wonder if they handle ALL their writers like that? If so, you can't grudge the authors all that much.

Sure, I'll join the revolution. If I can be the Stalin to your Trotsky...

No, but here is my real condition: Anthologies will continure to be produced. Really. Its tragic we lost the anthologies. If you'd read the cycles and wanted to know more about the characters, or if you wanted the otherwise unmentioned inclusions of the settings you always knew about but never got to see (because they weren't featured in the novels), or simply because it was an opportunity to read some other stories in a GOOD setting... the anthologies were great. Its a shame they were discontinued (according to McDermott). They also gave authors other than the ones writing the cycles an opportunity to get their work in.

My take on the other changes:

1) The Odyssey Cycle didn't need that much more revision. Individually, books 2 and 3 didn't need much revision. Book 1 remains a point of contention among many. I personally didn't mind it that much. The Onslaught Cycle needs revision. Lord save us from overwhelming continuity randomness, punctuated by grossout humor, and the death of any respect most people had for many of the characters! I don't know about the redivision of the story that you proposed. If anything, I think the events of the Onslaught Cycle would have made sense if stretched out more. The plot twists were too random as they stood. If Karona, the numena, etc, could have been built up to they might have been swallowable. But no. Book 1- Everythings normal. Book 2- BLAM! Three wizards who could take on planeswalkers while blindfolded. Book 3- DOUBLE KABLAM! We have a superpower that wants to destroy the world. Too rapidly shifting events. In fact, I'm sure King would have been only too happy if he could have had more pages at his disposal... but more about that in part 5.

2) Dear god, yes! We wait and wait and wait. Well, Legends is getting its say. And the Legends books HAVE been good, so I don't mean to disparage them in the least. But they are side-stories. Give us what we've been waiting for! If the freaking book rate continues, we won't see all the old stories by the time we're all senile!

3) Thank you. If not novels, then at least encouragement of short stories- maybe enough to give them their own anthologies. I mean, you can't write a full-fledged novel about how the slivers take out the Riptide Project, but you might be able to write a Rath-and-Storm-esque book. Empress Galina, for example. Christsakes, she's one of the most important background characters in MtG history! The word, "Vodalia," is probably used no more than ten times throughout all the books, and only by King. The Soltari, the retaking of Mercadia, the life of Jarsyl, the Summit of the Null Moon, ALL THE FREAKING LEFT-OUT ICE AGE CHARACTERS! Pant pant.

4) Six books a year? Do they think we read at a snail's pace? Well, MtG isn't as popular as D&D. But it has 7 million buyers! Statistically, thats one in every thousand people on our planet who is estimated to play Magic! One in a thousand... out of seven billion. Jeez!

Lol, Homelands by Salvatore. Insane battle scenes with everyone's favorite Baron.

5) Once again- 312 is really crippling. It could be suggested as a guidelines... but otherwise, nah ah. What if the author wants to include much more? What if the idea encompasses significantly less?

6) If I understand correctly, you have no intention of getting rid of the authors that already work on the series. Good. But this point must, by default, tie in with points 2-5.

7) Agreed. The trilogy cliche is irritating. And it makes the books so formulaic.

Book 1: Sets up setting, protagonist, and plot.
Book 2: A bunch of crazy stuff happens. Darkest moment.
Book 3: Conclusion. The hero wins by default.

I recall loving the Artifacts Cycle so much. It had its downsides, to be sure. But it didn't feel ridiculously constrained in any way. The authors had 3500 years to make up for, and did it much more leisurely than anything we've seen recently. And the Masques Cycle... why was that even a cycle? The events of Mercadian Masques and Nemesis were only loosely connected. And both had barely anything to do with Prophecy (god, Haddad, how I hate you still). In Rath and Storm, and entire cycle (plus an additional set!) was squeezed into one book! True, we've all complained a bit about how the Rath Cycle was too story-centric, but aside from those who complain about its anthology format, there are few who see fault with Rath and Storm.

Remember back in the days when the only sci-fi/fantasy trilogies you could remember offhand were Star Wars and LotR (and maybe a few others)? Seems so long ago. The world has been so hopelessly inundated with trilogies that its painful to look at the back of a book and realize- "This is a trilogy."

8) MoM actually sets us up for a potentially interesting story. Or so I feel. Give it a chance before flushing it down the toilet. I rather liked it.

9) Bah. I see no need. I was disappointed that Bolas would die so easily (damn those weak Obliterate-esque spells!). I did see it coming, so I wasn't shocked or anything. Well, I dunno. It could have been much worse.

10) Kind of annoying. Not lethal. I'm for it.

11) Agreed. I don't know exactly how it should be done without disrupting continuity. Perhaps if they were rereleased, but in a different format, so its obvious that they bear little connection. Whatever.

Note: We are NOT a bunch of losers whining about what could have been. We understand perfectly well that WotC is a corporation and must, as such, take profit into heavy account. But people like us have been the MtG department's (especially contunuity) biggest supporters, and have kept with them through the years. Wizards does not give MtG as much coverage as, say, D&D. Fair enough. I would never be one to hold a grudge against Forgotten Realms, or Dragonlance, for example. But have you ever seen an MtG book advertized? I know I haven't. Not off the WotC website and Phyrexia.com at least.

Wow. I didn't know so much stress could be cleared off from ranting. I really mean it. Whew.

But I do have to digress to an extent. Someone needs to defend the brave souls who pump out our entertainment for us, and if I don't do it, no one else will. One thing that I think can NOT be done is the random passing around of blame. WotC IS a corporation, and ultimately, many people have very little say in what happens. And it has to push ventures like MtG books to the background to make way for the card game which is, by far, its primary source of cash. Its frustrating. And I'm sure its also a pain to work in/for/with a multidepartmental organization that has the potential to dash your ideas on the rocks because of technicalities. Its probably even worse when you are the one blamed for it, as opposed to the frustrating people you work for.

Brown-nosing mode: OFF
Sleep mode: ON

By The Dritex (Xdritex) on Monday, November 24, 2003 - 01:23 am:

One thing needs to be added on. to this entire revolution, the seeting free of WotC from Hasbro!!! I'm of teh beliefe that they were doing fairly good up until Hasbro started screwing everying up making it for profit, and not something for poeple to truly enjoy and love.

Anyways, leave Mirrodin as it currently stands. The book may not have been teh greatest thing in teh world, but it's not just teh settignup up new characters and events, but teh settign up of an entirely new world for us to start playing with. It has lots and lots of potential, and can deffinately be shaped to turn out some truly great things. Just cause it's not in Dominaria, doesn't mean it's not worth checking out.

So, yea, oterh than that, I'll just gow ith preddy much everything else that's been mentioned(I think it's mostly all stating the same thing). That mean, I'm in on this revolution.

Oh, one other thing, pertaining to #2/#3: How about expanding more upon The Thran. The civil war that ocured between the eugenicists(sp) and artificers, more on Yawgmoth's travels around Dominaria, and the things he did, and what about the recovering process everyoen had to go trhough after the Thran-Phyrexian War.

By Squeeman on Monday, November 24, 2003 - 06:52 am:

Oh, and er... Viva la Revolucion!

By Squeeman on Monday, November 24, 2003 - 08:04 am:

Oops. I meant "Stalin to your Lenin."

Man I feel stupid now.

By Nemesis (Nemesis) on Monday, November 24, 2003 - 11:59 am:

Oops...I forgot to include the Anthologies will continue to be produced point. Thanks, Squeeman!

A clarification: My four book plan four Otaria is as follows:
Odyssey=> Kamahl's Odyssey
Torment=> Chainer's Torment
Judgment=> Mirari's Judgment
Onslaught=> Ixidor's Vendetta

TBTSNBN and TSTTBTSNBN will be DROPPED, as the story is tied up perfectly well after Onslaught.

By Ehh... Nifallor on Monday, November 24, 2003 - 12:16 pm:

More Thran is gooood....

no more anthologies bad.....

Nemesis make anthology with Thran? ancients of magic?

nemesis good....

By Nemesis (Nemesis) on Monday, November 24, 2003 - 12:19 pm:

Ancients of Magic...I like it...

By Jared_Carthalion (Cheesemaster) on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:57 am:

Of course Onslaught needs a different ending:
Akroma is amazed by the dead of her master, searches out in every corner of the world then finds the death worm hidden in an old cave somewhere in the desert, fights him with whole strength and both are wounded deathly.
Ixidor comes out and sees that Akroma had Niveas Soul, dreamt into life by him, but he's too late.
He screams and sacrifices himself and their souls went to the immortals..
Phage kills off Braids and the Patriach and becomes Patriach for about 3 years, until Kamahl appears. She commands him to fight her again, eventually getting the upper hand and touches him. His green mana is strong, protecting him from direct death(and because he is Kamahl) and he becomes fourious. He pierces her with his gigantic sword and her curse is broken. Her undead flesh begins to fade away, and she slowly gains back her conciousness. In regret of what she had done, she desperatly embraces the surprised Kamahl, leaving nothing but Dust of them.

Hows that?

By Squeeman on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 07:14 am:

Er. I rather liked the ending of Onslaught. I always thought that Braids, if removed from the picture, would always be better as one of those "fate unknown but presumed killed" characters, like Purraj.

By PhyrexianDebaser (Yawgmoth_Lives) on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 01:08 am:

The Mirrodin cycle:
Book 1: Introduction
Book 2: Glissa, Bosh and that other guy running away from levelers
Book 3: Mirrodin gets a green sun. That's why it's called FIFTH DAWN.


I h8 otaria. Bring back the Weatherlight story!

By Evil Moderator (Eidtelnvil) on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 07:21 pm:

I agree about the anthologies. Mainly because they're a great place for stories that aren't large enough to warrant their own novel to get out in the open.

By Flame Spitter (Bosh) on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 07:33 pm:

My only disagreement with what's been said is to leave Mirrodin. It's going slow, but it looks like it's going to set up a new Phyrexian war, or at the very least, Bosh flinging himself at Memnarch.

By Greven (Evercursed) on Saturday, November 29, 2003 - 11:11 pm:

New anthology title-
The Accidents of Magic

Featuring those accidental cases that should have never been made; such as Kamahl, TWTSNBN and of course, Sash and Waistcoat.

By Flame Spitter (Bosh) on Sunday, November 30, 2003 - 09:14 am:

We should make a log of all the fan fictions that are set up here, something new for the mainpage. There are definatley enough creative writers here to make more than what we already have, and we can probably do better than some of the crap they've been printing.

By (Direxion) on Sunday, November 30, 2003 - 10:14 am:

sounds like a good idea, but how do u propose u get ur ideas to wotc, or take them over, or kill stuff, or w/e the plan is right now?

i guess u could run into their office with swords and stuff, but that would result in a loss of a lot of things.

By The Mad (Eidtelnvil) on Sunday, November 30, 2003 - 01:20 pm:

Does that include The Wizard of Eid?!

By Squeeman on Sunday, November 30, 2003 - 05:00 pm:

Another thing:

We need good (revisionist) short stories returned to the Magic storyline site. And decent entries. The old site had oh so much more flavor.

By eidtelnvil on Monday, December 01, 2003 - 11:51 am:

And how about an update every millennium ...

By Squeeman on Monday, December 01, 2003 - 12:31 pm:

Millenium? Are we trying to overwork them to death? Please, eid, a little more consideration. Maybe every ten thousand years would be a good start.

By eidtelnvil on Monday, December 01, 2003 - 03:31 pm:

Yeah, that was sort of inconsiderate of me. Maybe if we treat them really nice we could maybe go two books without a continuity error ... mwahaha, I slay me!

By Chainer on Friday, January 02, 2004 - 08:45 pm:

Well, instead of taking over the Magic storyline, why dont we create an entirely new story! Im no big fantasy story buff, but in the past years Ive seen an increase in new fantasy books at my local Barnes and Noble (with a decrease in Magic books) I mean come on, were 7 and a half intelligent people we should come up with something good

Or we can always contact WotC informing them that we are taking over the production of Magic books (peacefully or through force)

By Jimmy Patterson (Maraxus) on Friday, January 02, 2004 - 10:37 pm:

:Aims nuclear-warhead firing cannon at Wotc headquarters:
If we contacted them, they could have time to evacuate...
:arms nuclear warheads:

By The Dritex (Xdritex) on Saturday, January 03, 2004 - 01:54 am:

*wacks Maraxus in teh back of the head*

You dolt! No need to really destroy WotC yet. It's Hasbro that's needed to be taken care of first.

*re-aims the targeting systems at Hasbro headquarters*

Now, we demand the freeing of WotC, and then we takem them over, being sure that the game can now once agin be made for it's proper audiance, and! we'll take up continuity, just to be sure one thing is at least goign right. We destroy WotC only after they fail to fix teh game back up.

By Drayakir Darodor (Drayakir) on Friday, January 23, 2004 - 11:01 pm:

Wait, are you people serious or not? That's the part I'm a little shaky on. Seems to make flawless sense, but how are you going tog et them kicked out of office?

By The Dritex (Xdritex) on Saturday, January 24, 2004 - 01:29 am:

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha...wait...ummmm. I'm not quite sure of that myself. I just know it's an actual plan to do this stuff.